I once heard or read somewhere the words: “Keep going, even if you don’t know what comes next!”
That saying should apply to me — or better said, I should apply it myself. I have so many dilemmas. Should I do this, or should I do that?… and as I keep thinking about what to do, how to spend my time… I end up doing nothing.
After spending about three or four hours like that, I went out thinking I’d have a soft drink at a nearby terrace. Then I suddenly craved a doughnut. I hadn’t had doughnuts in a long time. The kind dusted generously with powdered sugar, just like when I was a kid.
After that break of overthinking and a bit of socializing, I came back home feeling calmer, but still confused about what to do. Only now, it didn’t bother me as much.
Normally, on weekdays, during working days, I don’t have time to ask myself such questions. But today being Sunday — a day off — thoughts and doubts flooded my mind.
Sometimes, I can get very anxious. I often worry for no real reason, and it blocks me. Today, I just felt bad. What a strange thing freedom is… give a man a day off and he won’t know what to do with it — and he’ll end up feeling bad. That’s what happens when you’re not used to freedom, only to schedules.
If I had done something, it would’ve felt like I was wasting time and should be doing something else. So I didn’t really do much, except read a page from an economics book and write this.
And now it’s 4:45 p.m.…